When I asked what I should write on, a good friend told me to write about the conspicuous lack of apple pie in Lord of the Rings. Ah, good ol’ apple pie.
If you’ve ever eaten at Coco’s (or maybe if you haven’t), you probably know that they are famous for their pies. Their apple pie happens to be my favorite. This is for one reason.
They use pippin apples.
Okay, so not to go too deep into the weirdness of this, but come on. Just listen to this menu description: Tart and sweet Pippin apples are dusted with sugar and cinnamon and baked until bubbly. How delicious does that sound? And Pippin being my favorite Lord of the Rings character has nothing to do with it. (Okay, maybe a little. Try not to picture the hot little hobbit dusted with cinnamon and sugar.)
So. Lord of the Rings and apple pie. It has been a while since I watched the movies or read the book. (I know, I know. Don’t shun me. I’m a college student. I don’t have 12 hours to devote to watching the movies. I’m lucky if I have 10 minutes to sleep.) Either way, I really do not recall any apple pie in Lord of the Rings. So here’s a question for you. If there had been apple pie, could it have destroyed the one ring?
I know what you’re thinking. Apple Pie. One Ring. No contest, right? But if an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how much more could a bunch of apples, infused with special, attribute-enhancing spices, and forged in the fires of Mom’s Kitchen, do?
Oh no… Hot Little Hobbit…
Need Brain Soap. Please?
But ‘attribute enhancing spices’ is going in my D&D magic items list.
While an apple pie couldn’t have carried the ring to Mordor, I do think that having a nice fresh one would have helped Frodo and Sam. The delicious, cinnamon-y goodness might have broken the ring’s spell at the critical moment. It would’ve been like, “The ring is mi- Oh hey, pie!” and then Frodo would have tossed the ring aside and Gollum would have dived after it and our furry-footed friend wouldn’t have lost a finger.